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WOT A LOAD OF BALLOTS
From SchNEWS FRIDAY 11th May, 2001
As election fever grips us at SchNEWS Towers, we spoke to some of our focus groups to see how they will be casting their vote - or not as the case may be...
(when they're busy not eating babies) "Time and again we are asked to trundle down to the polling station and choose between a couple of carbon-copy candidates from the lets-accommodate-big-business party. This June, instead of not voting, why not Vote for Nobody.
"If more people go to the ballots and spoil their paper with a Nobody/None of the Above vote than vote for the winning candidate, we will declare the victory illegitimate, and the ward in question an autonomous zone. We will then be free to set up popular local assemblies, overturn central/local government jurisdiction, and start establishing some genuine people-driven, community-centred democracy in Nobody's wards." http://uk.geocities.com/votenobody
"I'm voting for the Socialist Alliance because, the better it does, the longer that people who hate each other will be forced to work together.
There are a number of reasons why those people have come together; frankly, some of them were lonely. But whatever the reasons, being forced to listen to different views about how to change the world has to be good for us. "Why we are right and everybody else is wrong" has never been a very productive pamphlet title for the left.
My hope is that once people in the Alliance have got the hang of respecting one another, they will start to respect people outside it, and earn some respect in return. But I'm glad the RCP has broken up because they were just wankers." - Jeremy Hardy, Comedian
"The most important issue in the elections and the biggest threat to the planet today is globalisation and free trade, which really means the takeover of the world by multinational corporations, who will run it for the benefit of the super-rich few, and not for the rest of us.
The way to stop globalisation is to vote Green. Voting Labour or Liberal Democrat to keep the Tories out is a sick joke, because Tories, Labour and Liberal Democrats are all corporate-friendly parties who all support globalisation.
And not voting at all is like voting for one of them, because it means that one of them will get in instead of a Green. It is quite understandable that people should hate all politicians after having been let down so badly by Blair, but if you are feeling like this, please think again, and go out and vote Green."
And why not? After all, the Greens won't let us down will they? Just look at Germany...
THE FREE PARTY POSSE
"If you're gonna waste your vote, waste it with style!" Yep, Bob Dobbs from the Church of the SubGenius is once again standing in Brighton, this time for The Free Party - who are asking people to come up with a manifesto on their website.
"Here any opinion, however ludicrous or wise, may be aired" they say. "As soon as there are ten suggestions for policies, they are placed upon Bob's wheel of misfortune, and the wheel spun by our spin doctors.
Whichever policy the fates choose then becomes concrete manifesto. If unchosen suggestions continue to be supported via the web, they can make any number of appearances; unpopular ones will be sold off to the other main parties, being as they are fairly devoid of their own ideas.
And like all politicians, our main interest is looking good on television." www.freeparty.org.uk
THE CLIMATE CHANGERS
"Having consulted our meteorological crystal ball, we can safely predict some severe weather patterns in the run-up to election day, mostly in the form of potentially catastrophic hot air emissions from all parties fielding candidates.
What they won't remind you of is that you have 14 more general election votes before 2050. By this time climate change may well have flooded many cities, killed off the Amazon rainforest due to drought, melted the Arctic, brought malaria to the UK and created a billion environmental refugees.
Cuts in greenhouse gasses of 60-90% are needed, yet no political party is even willing to discuss cuts of this magnitude. Our sources can also reveal a sinister refusal by parties of all colours to reject the UN-sponsored 'solution', code-named 'Kyoto'. 'Kyoto' seeks to smuggle free market climate change solutions into international law in the guise of a soft and caring environmental treaty. So a June 7th vote is a vote for the end of the world as we know it."
"With the Terrorism Act and the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act, the UK has powers that would make any dictator proud. But the pressure on political parties to get ever tougher in crime, fuelled by a public addicted to stories of crime (they now make up 1/3 of your average TV bulletin) is increasing and is turning our criminal justice system into a Orwellian machine.
"What we really need is an end to the fixation on crime in the media, which increases fear of crime and allows police powers to be increased; removal of advertising which creates artificial needs and makes people feel they are only as good as their possessions; rebuilding communities so that they can gradually deal more with crime and offenders rather than leaving it up to an increasingly authoritarian state; viewing crimes with the appropriate level of seriousness: more emphasis on insider dealing, less on hash dealing"
MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE
"The election on June the 7th, will witness the second term of the most right wing labour government since the War. When in opposition many within the labour party stood shoulder to shoulder with human right groups protesting the innocence of the wrongfully convicted. Since taken power, not only have they turned their backs on the plight of the innocent, they have introduced more draconian powers than any other government in the past.
Which we, in the Miscarriages of Justice Organisation, unfortunately predict will lead to arise in more and more innocent people losing their freedom. New Labour should hold its head in shame."
Miscarriage of Justice Organisation, Tardis Studios, 52-56 Turnmill St, London EC1M 5QR
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