M&S get their knickers in a twist over GM cotton
from SchNEWS Issue 238, Friday 26th November 1999
Marks and Sparks were caught with their trousers down at the opening of their new Manchester store on Thursday by Super-heroes armed with the biggest pair of pants in the city- and we don't mean the Gallaghers.
The Underwear Ubermenschen* unfurled a four-metre pair of shreds and then attempted to pull down all the tasteful trolleys on display in the store. "why, Oh why, our Y-fronts?" panted perplexed employees, before cottoning on after a briefing from the heroes, who included SuperPants and Captain Y-Fronts.
For they were from 'Superheroes Against GM Pants', sniffing out stains in M&S's 'organic' gusset: the use of genetically-modified cotton in their otherwise graceful grits**.
"GM cotton is undies-irable for superheroes and the public alike. It's below the belt and should be removed without delay" said a spokeshero." M&&S have taken many steps to take GM out of their food and animal feed, but this policy is inconsistent if they continue to sell GM cotton."
Don't get yer knickers in a twist, but GM cotton is the product of SchNEWS faves Monsanto and is bred to be herbicide and pest resistant. It has all the inherent risks of gene transfer and increased pesticide usage of other GM crops- and it does nothing to prevent skidmarks, either.
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SchNews vocab watch: * Supermen. Honest. Ask Nietzsche ** Pants. Honest. Ask Viz