Glastonbury 2004: reports and reflections
'A Triumph for Bob!'
Report by 'DoUsAFavour', July 2004
The best thing to come out of Glastonbury this year was a personal triumph for my mate, lets call him 'Bob'.
Bob has suffered from a type of agoraphobia for many years and only goes out of his home to work, and to Tesco to buy his sedation in the form of beer.
He is paranoid of groups people and of the open so what better therapy, thought Dr DoUsAFavour, than a trip to Glasto
It took months of careful planning and persuasion, with the right words here and there from the 'right' people engineered by yours truly.
I received harsh criticism from several of my friends for persuading this ill man into such a war zone, but I knew it had to be done.
It was a high risk strategy if he took the wrong drugs in the wrong order we could of lost Bob forever into a hellish world of mud-coated K'd up crusties and crack head scallies trying to perform the the most grotesque and perverted acts beyond the imagination of any decent citizen.
Now all we needed was some sunshine in the beautiful valleys of Somerset but it wasn't to be and Bob was on a come-down in a sea of mud, looking like he wanted to cry and just shrivel up and disappear.
It didn't look good, and to top it all I was given a 'told you so' dressing down by a mate, but I still believed Glasto had yet to work her magic.
Days past in the mud hell for Bob, now finding refuge in his tent, it was Sunday and our last hope was Orbital. Both Bob and I were obsessed by rave from the early nineties and there was no more fitting end to the festival than the last ever set (in the UK) by Orbital.
We started making our way into the crowd but Bob refused to go any further but ushered us away. I had another mate with us that had just taken several e's and a load of shrooms who had asked me to look after him and had darted into the crowd. We left Bob.
It was the fourth time I've seen Orbital play and by far the most banging and spot on set, all the sounds and all the beats any civilised munter would want to hear.
The sound system was amazing the best outdoor sound I can remember hearing and although I'm slightly bitter they weren't playing the main stage it was the best set I've seen them play and possibly the best set I've seen at Glasto period.
Anyhoo we made our way back to HQ through the slop and regrouped but no Bob. I was starting to get worried, did our Bob flip out with all the flashing lights, pounding beats and rabid cheesey quavers? And was he now quivering under what cover he could find, muttering incantations against DoUsAFavour?
Half an hour passes and we spot the first glimmer of Bob gingerly making his way up the hill as he gets closer I can make out the first genuine smile of the festival followed by sounds of approval for Orbital, I shake his hand and we relax into to our banter biggin' up what a truly amazing set we've just witnessed
Bob then spends the rest of the night in a jubilant mood recalling tales to our fellow revellers of his top experience and getting to know the people in our group he hasn't been able to communicate with and laughing and joking with them.
Bob: 1 Paranoia: 0
A close friend gives me the nod and says that Bob has cracked it, and with that I crawl into my tent and pass out.
While I have been suffering with horrendous flashbacks of bad things I've done and the wrong things I've said at Glasto, and my mates who I've spoken to have been suffering a lot of mental penance in the post Glasto week, I received a phone call from Bob.
Even though everybody else is in mental and physical turmoil Bob is bright as a button and hasn't sounded as assertive and happy for many years and proudly tells me he hasn't felt paranoid in the slightest since he's been back and had the time of his life and still hasn't got over that Orbital set.
He thanked me for dragging him to Glastonbury and said he will definitely be there next year and the next.
While I've been wallowing in self pity at what a twat I am this shows that Glasto is more than mindless hedonism it has a special energy that can progress the people who participate and there's not many events that can boast that.