The thoughts of Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf
A catalogue of relentlessly optimistic quotes from the Iraqi Information Minister (Excerpts from www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com)
"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"
"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"
"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"
"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"
"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."
"They're coming to surrender or be burned in their tanks."
"No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"
"Be assured. Baghdad is safe, protected"
"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!"
"The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies."
"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."
"We have destroyed 2 tanks, fighter planes, 2 helicopters and their shovels - We have driven them back."
"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."
"We have them surrounded in their tanks"
"The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"
"Lying is forbidden in Iraq. President Saddam Hussein will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."
"Let the American infidels bask in their illusion"
"I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad."
Britain "is not worth an old shoe"
"we have given them a sour taste"
Of US troops: "They are most welcome. We will butcher them."
"We will welcome them with bullets and shoes."
"We have placed them in a quagmire from which they can never emerge except dead"
"I speak better English than this villain Bush"
"These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying"
"They're not even [within] 100 miles [of Baghdad]. They are not in any place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion ... they are trying to sell to the others an illusion."
"We will kill them all........most of them."
"They are like a snake and we are going to cut it in pieces."
"They do not even have control over themselves! Do not believe them!"
"They are trapped in Umm Qasr. They are trapped near Basra. They are trapped near Nasiriyah. They are trapped near Najaf. They are trapped everywhere."
Called Americans and Brits "Tarateer"– In Iraqi slang, Tartoor means a guy full of farts (hot air)
"they are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."
"Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly."
"We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."
"We're giving them a real lesson today. Heavy doesn't accurately describe the level of casualties we have inflicted."
"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."
When told coalition troops occupied Baghdad airport - "...at Saddam Airport? Now that's just silly!"
"The situation is excellent, they are going to try to approach Baghdad...and I believe their grave will be there."
"NO", snapped Mr al-Sahaf, "We have retaken the airport. There are NO Americans there. I will take you there and show you. IN ONE HOUR!"
"We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these mercenaries in a crematorium."
"We blocked them inside the city. Their rear is blocked"
"Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport. The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed."
"They are trying to fool you. They are showing any old pictures of buildings. They even went into the VIP section of the airport, just because Saddam Hussein may have sat in such and such a chair or slept in such and such a bed"
"We went into the airport and crushed them, we cleaned the WHOOOLE place out, they were slaughtered"
"Yes, the american troops have advanced further. This will only make it easier for us to defeat them"
[On surrenders] "Those are not Iraqi soldiers at all. Where did they bring them from?"
"You can go and visit those places. Nothing there, nothing at all. There are Iraqi checkpoints. Everything is okay."
"Listen, this explosion does not frighten us any langer. The cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target."
"We will slaughter them, Bush Jr. and his international gang of bastards!"
"As for the mercenaries who advanced to the perimeters of Saddam International Airport, I would like to remind you of something. I will mention something that will make the picture clear for you and help you to understand what took place at Saddam International Airport. Most of you probably saw the American movie "Wag the Dog". I hope you remember it. Some of their acts that took place at dawn yesterday and today are similar to what happened in "Wag the Dog". If we succeed in keeping them isolated on that island, and we are determined to do so, we might let them taste a second mini Dien Bien Phu tonight. The European journalists remember it well. Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly. They are completely surrounded now. This morning, the number of armoured personnel carriers that were destroyed, along with their occupants, is eight. The number of the tanks destroyed is 11."
"W. Bush, this man is a war criminal, and we will see that he is brought to trial"
"I think the British nation has never been faced with a tragedy like this fellow [Blair]."
"We have destroyed 50 tanks today. That 5-ohhh tanks" [while holding up his fingers]
"They are superpower of villains. They are superpower of Al Capone."
Americans are "wild donkeys" ['Alog' in Arabic]
"They are retreating on all fronts. Their military effort is a subject of laughter throughout the world."
"...they are nowhere (pause)...they are nowhere, really"
"What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them."
"We have crushed the whole force which dared to venture there. Now they're outside the wall and the heroic Republican Guard is now in control of the whole area. . . . So where are those villainous louts, those mercenaries?''
"Their forces committed suicide by the hundreds.... The battle is very fierce and God made us victorious. The fighting continues."
"Yesterday, we slaughtered them and we will continue to slaughter them."
"They think we are retarded - they are retarded."
(leaflet drops) "I think this is very laughable for a Superpower to be so cheap to drop inside Iraq such poor things and they are printed in Kuwait''
"...crocodile tears [shed in] .. The gangster Bush's lair..." (refers to Bush and Blair at Camp David calling for the Geneva Conventions to be applied to all POWs)
"We're going to drag the drunken junkie nose of Bush through Iraq's desert, him and his follower dog Blair...There are 26 million Saddams in Iraq"
"We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp"
"When we were making the law, when we were writing the literature and the mathematics the grandfathers of Blair and little Bush were scratching around in caves"
"Those Iraqi fighters are slapping those gangsters on the face, and then when they flee, they will kick their backsides."
About Bush: "the leader of the international criminal gang of bastards."
"the insane little dwarf Bush"
About Bush and Rumsfeld: "Those only deserve to be hit with shoes."
"Bush is a very stupid man. The American people are not stupid, they are very clever. I can't understand how such clever people came to elect such a stupid president."
"Who is this dog Franks in Qatar?"
Any apparent American gains, he said, were a cunning ploy by the Iraqis to lure the enemy into a trap. "Our armed forces, according to their tactics, are leaving the way open"
"We are surrounding them and pounding them. The whole trend has changed and we are going to finalize this very soon.''
"After we finish defeating all of those animals we will disclose that with facts and figures."
"Bush, Blair and Rumsfeld. They are the funny trio"
Question: Is Saddam Hussein still alive: "I will only answer reasonable questions"
"Don't believe anything! We will chase the rascals back to London!"
"This criminal (Bush) in the White House is a stupid criminal"
"Even those who live on another planet, if there are such people, would have condemned this action before it started"
More quotes at welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com
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